Saw V

Review by Jason Gaston

 

There's a point that a movie series becomes so tedious, so pointless, and so dumb that you have to wonder why they even bother.  Then, you have to consider that the people who make these movies are making assloads of cash and you have to say... Oh, yeah. It's not about scaring people or making them fear, it's all about getting them to sit their dumb asses down in a theater seat one more time so you can lift more money out of their wallet.

Ka-chings! Not screams!

The Saw cash cow has birthed yet another bastard child with this, the fifth installment of the franchise which comes two movies after the series should have officially quit while it was ahead. In it, we learn more about Jigsaw's replacement and how be came to replace the heart of the series... which is odd considering he hasn't come close to doing that at all. Credit that to Tobin Bell who still carries the movies the best he can considering that he was killed off in part three. That's stickwithitness!

This movie is literally nothing more than a glorified clip show. You know... one of those episodes of a TV show where they want to save money by showing old clips? It's about as artistically exciting as one of those and you feel about the same amount of letdown with this movie as you would with a clip show - if you added a steel-toed boot to the balls, at least.

This is the deal, kids, there has been nothing remotely interesting about these movies since they killed off Jigsaw who was the heart, blood, and other assorted body parts of this series and now it's getting harder and harder to put him into the movies without it becoming stupider and stupider.

And stupid just about sums up this  movie. It's convoluted, silly, and just a complete waste of time and, mind you, this is coming from someone who loves Friday the 13th movies. I also liked the first three Saw movies but Saw V is embarrassingly bad and boring.

I am almost in anticipation to see just how desperate Saw VI is going to be. Perhaps then, the followers of this franchise will finally wise up and stop going and then Jigsaw can finally rest in pieces.