Saw IV

Review by Jason Gaston

 

Dear Saw,

First off, let me assure you that it's not you, it's me. If there's anyone to be blamed for this break-up, it's me. You're sitting there in your multiplex doing what you always do, torturing your characters and claiming that it's all in the name of living life to the fullest.

But you see, Saw, I think I've just outgrown you.

Don't get me wrong. It was fun while it lasted. Do you remember when you served up Cary Elwes or how you twisted that one guy's head off? That was good times. But you see, Saw, that's just it... I feel as though we're going in circles and I don't think that you have the sense to just let it go.

There was a bright spot in the relationship, you see, when you killed off both Jigsaw and his apprentice in a glorious five minute bloodbath. That was a time, let me tell you and I was so proud of you that you wrapped it all up in three movies whose quality - and let's be honest here - was starting to go downhill dramatically.

But then you go and let greed get the best of you and had to go and make a fourth one.

I can't fault you on this point alone, Saw.  After all, the fourth Star Trek movie was outstanding and... the fourth Lethal Weapon movie was okay. Sometimes the number four isn't a bad thing! Really!

But how do you continue when your main character - about the only one with a smidgen of actual personality - is lying on an autopsy table? More importantly, why do you continue?

The how is negotiable. After all, if Ripley can come back from being thrown into a lake of liquid hot magma, I think we could forgive raising Jigsaw from the dead, but you don't and that's the problem. I'm not saying that I want Jiggy to do a Spock and return or anything, what I'm saying here is that I wanted you to address the why. Why did we need a fourth movie? I've sat through this movie and, honestly, I don't know. Beyond the dollar signs, I don't think you do either.

And that's the problem with this movie... it's an afterthought. A greedy money-grubbing afterthought awash in its own desperation. Remember how I said we were going in circles? That's what this movie is! Same stuff, different day... or in this case, different sequel.

Don't even get me started on how sloppy this movie looks, as through it had been slapped together in a couple of weeks and served up a little pink in the middle. For shame!

And so, for the good of us both, I think it's time that we go our separate ways. I'm not saying that I won't take a look at Saw 5 or Saw 6 when they come out, but I hold no hope for them. All they will be in my mind, are empty vessels... just that extra stretch to reach every damn dollar you can get your mitts on.

I hope life treats you well. You can keep my sweater if you want.