Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Review by Jason Gaston

I just have to face facts and out and out say it... I just don't like Harry Potter, the books, or the movies. This is an odd thing because you'd think that a school for witches and wizards would be right up my alley, but something about this junk doesn't jive with me and, with each subsequent Potter release, I've found myself more and more distanced from the whole mess.

At the risk of sounding like a clichéd break-up, it's not you, it's me. Either I'm not getting the British humor (which has never been a problem for me in the past) or some other factors have come into play that I am not aware of. The Harry Potter movies are just underwhelming to me. I keep expecting the story to go somewhere, for the plot to do something and when it does I just sit there like a wart on a frog's butt thinking... that's it? That's what all the hype is about?

I think Mr. Potter and I have to call it quits.

Don't panic, though, children... I'm not through with Harry Potter, I'm just saying that my expectations of franchise have officially vanished. I hope that there will be more engaging Harry Potter movies on the horizon that I will enjoy, but I'm not holding my breath. I think that five chances to engage me is charitable enough. Now you will have to survive without my hyping of your product, Ms. Rowling.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix  is basically about making everyone realize that Lord Voldemort is back and raising an army. The events in this movie lead me to believe that the Ministry of Witchcraft take advise from experts about as well as a Bush White House.

I guess my biggest problem is that this entire movie would have lasted ten minutes if anyone in the Ministry had an ounce of brain in their head.

Beyond that, the fun of the previous Harry Potter movies have been replaced by a darker story that makes me wonder which kid in their right mind would sit through this two hour monster and not fidget?

Out of all the Potter Pictures, this one is probably the least entertaining. It's not fun, it's not amazing, and it doesn't even give a huge impact when a major player gets bumped off. Hell, if Harry looks like he can't be bothered by it... why the hell should I?

Eh, here's hoping the next one is better..