Fear Dot Com

Review by Jason Gaston

In this, the latest stupid offering from shlock horror wannabes, we learn that the internet can be a very evil and vindictive place. To that I say, duh... I mean, anyone unfortunate enough to visit Ain't It Cool News or even worse yet, their talkback section knows that.

But, at least, Ain't it Cool News never killed anyone. Hell, they couldn't even kill Scooby Doo after months of trying.

The internet site, Fear Dot Com does... on a regular basis I might add. In fact, within 48 hours of logging on to the site, you die of fright from your worse fears.

No, I'm not kidding. Stop laughing.

This rash of internet related deaths... oh, man... that sounds even cornier the second time... rouses the suspicions of a cop played by Stephen Dorff and a Health Official played by Natascha McElhone who decide that the only way to figure out how to stop the deaths is to expose themselves to the very thing that is causing the deaths in the first place.

In other news, a Doctor searching for a way to cure HIV has purposefully infected himself, an environmentalist has arranged for his backyard to be turned into a landfill, and a marine biologist is dumping oil in the ocean to clean up pollution.

There's one or two or thirty things about this movie that I just don't understand. If, as the movie suggests, the killer internet site is being visited by thousands of people a day, why aren't thousands of people a day dying? I mean, wouldn't that raise a teensy red flag with the authorities somewhere?

As you can pretty much tell, this is one pile of a movie. Something else: it's boring. Boring as all get out. This movie is about as exciting as watching Sam Donaldson reading transcripts from The Other Half.

This movie is made up of a shoestring plot and a silly love story that comes out of left field with no warning at all... as if the Kool-Aid man burst through the wall and said, "Oh yeah! You're in LOVE!"

The rest of the movie goes by and makes the ticks between the seconds seem like an eternity. The screenplay is muddled, the dialogue is atrocious, and the actors just seem to be slumming it for this movie's seemingly endless runtime.

This is just one of those movies that just tries to capitalize on a bad idea. Not just a bad idea, but a piss poor stupid harebrained idea that no one short of a few people hopped on crack would be remotely interested in.

There are some creepy visuals and two pretty good cheap scares, but for the most part this is one movie that is www dot dumb dot com... dot org.