Deep Blue Sea

Review by Jason Gaston

There are times when I am positively certain that movies are screwing with me. Deep Blue Sea is one of those movies.

Take this example: (I'm going to be as vague as I can about this, but this could contain a major spoiler for the movie and I do mean a MAJOR spoiler, so if you haven't seen it yet, you may want to skip down to the next paragraph... in fact, if you haven't seen it, I demand that you skip down to the next paragraph!) There's a scene where one of the characters of Deep Blue Sea goes into this big eloquent speech about survival and about how they have to stick together. The music swells, the drama rises, the audience is about to fall asleep. It's very cliché. Then... a shark jumps out and eats said person. It happens so quickly that before you know it, it's over! The audience gasps in disbelief. "Ohmigod!" someone says, "How could they have done that!?" Someone chuckles... then another person's shock turns into a giddy laughter. Next thing you know, the audience is engulfed in morbid giggles.

Congratulations.... you've just been screwed with. Feels great, don't it?

I am sorely disappointed in Deep Blue Sea. Oh, not for why you may think... allow me to explain.

You see, Deep Blue Sea is the tale of sharks. Smart sharks. Smart man-eating sharks. I mean, how good could this movie possibly be? I mean, hasn't it been done to death? You've seen the trailers, haven't you? Aren't those the weakest CGI sharks you've ever seen? Isn't that what's-her-face from Wing Commander?

I was thinking up so many witty things to say about this movie on the way to the theater like: "In Deep Blue Sea, the sharks aren't the only thing that bite" or "Deep Blue Sea blew all right".

So, imagine my utter disgust and anger when I went into the theater and, damn my eyes, I liked the stupid movie! What the hell is wrong with Renny Harlin? Doesn't he know that this should be nothing more than a silly smart-man-eating-shark movie?

Getting down to business, yes... Deep Blue Sea is a surprise. I went into this movie with very low expectations and was pleasantly shocked when what I got was a witty, well directed, and engaging movie about... (ew...) smart... m-man-eating... sh... sh... sharks.

There, I said it.

It goes like this: scientists in the middle of the Pacific ocean are screwing with shark's brains to find a cure for Alzheimer's Disease. They succeed so that means they all have to die in the most grotesque and bloody way available. Of course, the sharks are only too happy to oblige.

They're big, they're bad, they're smart, they've seen Jaws: The Revenge and they are pissed!

Deep Blue Sea is at the top of the shlock-horror food chain. Sure, it's a B-movie (about smart man-eating sharks), but it's also a movie full of characters with honest-to-god motivations, unexpected plot-turns, clever action sequences, and of course and most importantly... lots and lots of gore. What's the best thing about Deep Blue Sea? Well, I think Joe Bob Briggs of TNT's Monstervision says it best...

Anyone can die at any time!

I'm really ashamed of saying this... Deep Blue Sea is the biggest and most unexpected surprise of the summer. It takes every cliché in the smart-man-eating-shark genre and tears them to bits with it's rows of razor-sharp serrated teeth. Too bad this wasn't the script for Jaws 5.