Cursed

Review by Jason Donner

Cursed is a movie that never really had a chance... its life story of how it was neutered and PG-13-ified before if even hit theaters is a long and sad one and, ultimately, turned what could have been the Scream movie for the werewolf genre into a movie that is just plain silly.

Brother and sister, Jimmy and Ellie have barely recovered from the deaths of their parents when they are in a car accident with another driver and are horrified when that driver is carried off by a large creature that ends up scratching them both.

They've been...

Wait for it.

...CURSED!!!

Almost immediately, the two of them start noticing odd behavior... Jimmy wakes up naked outside in a flower garden and Ellie starts developing heightened senses. It's obvious the two of them are becoming werewolves, but who can honestly deal with that kind of triviality when you've got distant boyfriends, job, bullies, high school, Scott Baio, and Craig Kilborne to take up all your free time?

You know, despite the fact that the studio bean counters and dunderheads ended up slicing and dicing this movie into a safe and cowardly PG-13 offering for the masses... and despite the fact that the story is mostly just slush and poorly written tripe, Cursed is not the complete disaster that you might think it is.

Sure, it's bad... but it also has a kind of giddy joy to it all as these two kids deal with their new handicap. Cursed also has its fair share of clever moments and, thankfully, doesn't rely too heavily on tired CGI when the beast finally makes an appearance.

If anything, I would call Cursed the first genuine guilty pleasure of 2005. The movie isn't great and, don't get me wrong, it is painfully silly at times but there's enough of the tongue planted firmly into the cheek that gives Cursed a mild sort of appeal.  Who can really take the film seriously when a full werewolf gives the finger to the camera? What about cameos from Scott Baio for no damn reason? What about the fact that the movie is already painfully dated because Ellie works on the thankfully finished Late, Late Show with Craig Killborne?

I morn for the movie that could have been because the seeds for it are there and painfully apparent. They never blossom, but perhaps a future unrated cut of Cursed could fix that problem in the future.

In the meantime, the movie we have isn't that bad. It won't appeal to everyone... in fact, I'm pretty sure that it won't appeal to a vast majority... but I dug it on a deep and shameful level.