The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course

Review by Jason Gaston

Crikey! Steve Irwin, that insane Aussie who makes a living by finding the most dangerous creatures in the world and pissing them off on Animal Planet has made the big leap to the big screen!

Why? Well... to be quite honest, I don't have a clue... but to my credit, it seems like the makers of The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course didn't have one either.

The movie, of course, stars the married duo Steve and Terri Irwin - a couple that sometimes makes the Osbournes look sane - doing what they do best... traveling around the Australian Outback informing the audience about various poisonous snakes and spiders, flesh-eating lizards, and man-eating crocodiles... all while Steve plays with them and pisses them off while grinning at the camera and saying, "Now don't try this at home!"

Thanks for the warning there, mate.

The difference between this movie and the TV show you get to see for free on cable is that there is actually a subplot (or is it the main plot?) involving a downed US spy satellite crashing in the outback and getting swallowed by a crocodile. Steve and Terri come in to relocate the croc and mistake US feds for poachers.

Hilarity ensues.

Okay... so it doesn't. So sue me.

To be honest, this movie feels like it was made for the 5 to 10-year-old crowd. The jokes are hokey and the setup leaves a lot to be desired.

I was only really interested in this movie when Steve and Terri were just being themselves and teaching about the animals they were looking after.   There's kind of a goofy sincerity to Steve Irwin that makes him infectious. His flair and gusto and genuine excitement for what he does is obvious and a welcome change from a large portion of the phony stuff we normally see in movies today.

Like Barbershop, this is a film where the plot actually gets in the way of the movie being more interesting. Of course, comparing this movie to Barbershop is like comparing a Pinto to a Ferrari. Sure, the younger set will get a kick out of this movie and, I suppose, if you're a huge fan of The Crocodile Hunter, this movie will be high on your to-see list also. For the general public though, there's really not a lot - aside from the silly subplot - to differentiate this movie from the television show.