Big Momma's House 2

Review by Jason Gaston

Despite the fact that Martin Lawrence has had one - perhaps arguably two - good movies and limited box office success during his entire sad and pathetic career as a "movie star," every year studios seem happy to dump another one of his movies into theaters like a turd into a toilet.

Big Momma's House 2 is no different. Let's just put it this way, it's appropriate that Big Momma has the initials "BM" since this movie is such a piece of crap. It's Martin Lawrence's latest turd. Enjoy, world.

I said with my review of National Security, I think, that was through with Martin Lawrence and probably wouldn't seek out any of his movies in the future. As it turns out, I lied. Truth is, it was probably an unfair statement as I do believe that Martin Lawrence - despite never trying when he does a movie and being a complete racist on stage - has a good movie in him given ideal circumstances.

Big Momma's House was an okay movie and I wanted to see if there was any hope for the sequel. As it turns out, there wasn't any and if I can compliment this movie in any way it's only to say that it's not as terrible as I assumed it would be.

That being said, it's still pretty terrible. Slap my hand, I really should have known better.

In this sequel that only stupid people could have demanded, Martin Lawrence is back playing the worst FBI agent in history. He's riding a desk now but when a former partner of his is killed by the bad guys, he once again adopts the guise of Big Momma to go undercover (illegally, I might add) as a nanny to the kids of the father who is the prime suspect.

Why adopt the guise of Big Momma again? To actually answer this question is like trying to figure out why dogs lick their own butt. It can't be answered and probably isn't something you should think about a whole lot or you will become a sick and sad person. Needless to say, it happened, it doesn't make sense, and what can you do about it?

I don't mind low brow humor, but what I can't stand is low brow humor that just isn't funny and Big Momma's House 2... it ain't funny. It's filled with lame sex jokes and slapstick that I think only a toddler would appreciate. Personally, I laughed more at the kid who jumped off high places and landed on the floor than any pathetic go at comedy attempted by Martin Lawrence. They should have given the kid his own movie, The Flying Idiot. I bet it would have been five times more entertaining than Big Momma's House 2.

Come to think of it, this movie is a lot like Vin Diesel's terrible movie, The Pacifier. I'd go so far as to say that this movie actually made me pine for the humor and wit of The Pacifier and that stupid duck.

This is such a lame and predictable comedy in name only. Big Momma descends on this house full of kids like some kind of an overweight messiah ready to fix everything that's wrong. She's going to make the controlling mother relax, the rebellious teen become more responsible, the distant father more caring, the upset little girl happy, and the mute baby brother speak. While she's at it she even fixes the damn dog's problems. The kicker of it is that Martin Lawrence couldn't act like less of a woman if he tried and, I swear, sometimes it seems like he is. Even worse, this character's habits as an FBI agent are atrocious! He goes undercover and then seems to do everything he can to stick out and not become a part of the group. Where did this guy get his training?

As the movie mercifully comes to a close, Martin Lawrence says that you never know when you'll see Big Momma again. I'm not sure why he felt like he had to threaten the audience like that.