Behind Enemy Lines

Review by Jason Gaston

 

In the latest stinker from the Hollywood crap factory, Owen Wilson  fights evil to stay alive when they are both shot down (Bum-bum-bum!) Behind Enemy Lines! And thus, the Bosnian War is turned into a video game, all sense is thrown out the window, and I get a great big honking headache thanks to a director who thinks he's Michael freakin' Bay.

Guy, I know Michael Bay. I've seen Michael Bay's stuff and son, you are no Michael Bay. One of him is enough, thank you very much.

Good lord, folks, if you think that The Blair Witch Project was hard on you with it's vomit-cam and MTV Fear vision, you ain't seen nothing yet. Behind Enemy Lines will not only insult your intelligence, but it'll probably give you motion sickness as well with it's never-ending rock video editing and camera shaking. Sure, for the first ten minutes I was thinking "Cool!", but after that I was sitting in my seat, rubbing my temples, and praying to God that the movie would end as soon as possible.

Behind Enemy Lines might have been a half-way decent movie too if it wasn't for the annoying hackneyed directing and pandering to the stupid (Yes, folks... that's what those quick flash backs were for... they were there so that stupid people could keep up!) It was good to see that Owen Wilson is trying to do something other than comedy, but someone should have really told him that Behind Enemy Lines wasn't a comedy beforehand.

I was not at all impressed by this movie, folks. It's a nice popcorn movie if you have some Dramamine on hand and a high tolerance for stupidity, but it's still insipid and a dumbed down action movie exploiting a real problem without saying a damn thing about it or suggesting a course of action. In fact, as far as Behind Enemy Lines is concerned, the Bosnian conflict is over by the time the end credits roll.

Just a video game movie for attention deficit dofuses.