The Da Vinci Code (2006)

This is a lumbering beast of a movie, weighed down by its own ludicrously complicated plot, hampered by bored actors in uninspired roles, and made tedious by a runtime that is about 45 minutes longer than it deserved.

Daddy Day Care (2003)

The tragic downward spiral of Eddie Murphy’s career continues in this woefully bad movie that should be reported to the child welfare offices.

Daredevil (2003)

Answer me this: What is more unbelievable... The fact that a blind man fights crime in red leather every night or the fact that, by day, he's an honest lawyer?

The Dark Knight (2008)

The Dark Knight is, by far, the definitive adult take on Batman in any medium. It's just amazing.

Darkness (2003)

The script is a big pile of nonsense, the story is pretty ludicrous, the story is more like a collection of random scenes than a narrative, and the big reveal of what is going on in the house is like watching some random cartoony villain twirling his moustache and going, "Mwah, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Darkness Falls (2003)

It's a sad situation when one of the movie's most tense and exciting scenes winds up in the deleted scenes section of the DVD.

Date Movie (2006)

My love is strong and no restraining order in the world can stop it but sadly, it is not love that has compelled me to write to you today, my yummy Alyson, it is concern. I feel that you could be flushing your chance to be a huge star down the toilet.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

This is a remake that stands on its own legs; Well shot, well scripted, well acted, cliché breaking... this is probably one of the best looking zombie movies of all time.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

If the first half of the movie is "A" grade quality and the second half is "C" grade quality, let's just meet in the middle and say, hey... it's a decent movie.

The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008)

There's nothing in this movie that's optimistic, nothing that breeds hope, and nothing that will put a smile on your face. Nothing.

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

It takes every cliché in the smart-man-eating-shark genre and tears them to bits with it's rows of razor-sharp serrated teeth. Too bad this wasn't the script for Jaws 5.

The Departed (2006)

I feel I can't say enough about it because when it was all done, I felt a great deal of satisfaction the likes of which you might experience after a hearty Thanksgiving meal. This movie was so good that I just had to sit back and say out loud, "Wow, I really liked that!" just to hear myself say it.

The Descent (2006)

I believe it was a stroke of genius to cast all of the main parts in this film as women. It is such a cliché breaking move, that you don't see the movie's message until it's staring you in the face at the end. The fact that human nature can be the most terrifying monster of them all.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)

When a cameo by Norm McDonald is the funniest thing that a movie has going for it, it's best just to leave it alone.

Diary of a Mad Black Woman (2005)

Diary of a Mad Black Woman can't be taken seriously as a drama and, quite frankly, it's not funny enough to be a comedy. What is it? Sadly, it's a huge mess is what it is.

Die Another Day (2002)

It's big, it's loud, it's silly, it's exciting, and it's overblown and over the top. It's Bond... James Bond and he's looking better than we've seen him look in a decade.

Dinosaur (2000)

If you're expecting another Lion King, stay home, but if you're in the mood for good scenery, go see Dinosaur. If nothing else, you can hear the most blatantly sexual innuendo ever put into a Disney movie near the end.

Disaster Movie (2008)

When Disaster Movie has something to say about Juno being overwritten and too clever and then pokes fun at No Country for Old Men you really have to wonder just who the hell the directors of this movie think they are.

Doom (2005)

Near the end, when a sufficient number of my brain cells had been slaughtered, I actually found myself smiling and giggling like a giddy schoolgirl during a hokey yet amusing first-person action shooter sequence and the final battle between hero and demon.

Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat (2003)

Do not see this movie… Don’t see it now or later.
Don’t help line the pockets of that hack, Brian Grazer.
Don’t support the man who made the movie like that,
Don’t support the man who ruined the Cat in the Hat!

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

This movie is insane to the point that it needs to be put in a padded room so that it won't hurt other more timid horror movies. Very rarely do you find a movie, much less a horror movie, that has this much fun scaring its audience one minute and then making them laugh the next. This is probably the best horror comedy since An American Werewolf in London -- seriously.

Dragon Wars (2007)

Jesus Herbert Christ, this movie is one hundred percent pure unadulterated ass... not just any ass, this is Borat's manager's ass! This is ass of Biblical scale! This is ass with its own gravitational pull! That's the sheer level of assity that we are talking about here!

Dreamcatcher (2003)

It's supposed to be scary, but it's not. It's supposed to be disturbing, but it's just silly. It's supposed to be tragic... and I guess it would be if you cared about any of the characters. It's supposed to be gory... but the gore is so ridiculous that it's comical.

The Dukes of Hazzard (2003)

Say what you will about the show... call it stupid or base entertainment, it was always charming and friendly. This new movie has taken that charm and friendliness and flushed it completely down the toilet making it edgier and more sexual.

Dune (1984)

Yeah, I know I'm taking an unpopular position here slamming a cult classic, but any movie that goes on for four hours and makes it seems like hardly anything is happening is doing something terribly, horribly, and unforgivably wrong.

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